The Mental Game No One Is Coaching
Picture this: a batter steps up to the plate. What's going through their head?
If you're like most people, you probably said something like, "They're probably worried about striking out."
That's actually really telling. Even when we imagine elite athletes at their best, our brains go straight to the negative. And if that's what we think about them, imagine what they think about themselves.
In a recent episode of the College Is Fine Podcast, we sat down with two experts — Carrie Potoff, a licensed clinical social worker, and Rhodie Lorenz, a mental performance coach — to talk about something that doesn't get nearly enough attention: the mental side of being a college athlete.
Every Athlete Is Playing Two Games
Here's a simple truth that changes everything: athletes aren't just competing in their sport. They're also competing against the voice in their own head.
That inner voice can push an athlete forward or drag them down. But here's the good news — just like you can train your body to get stronger, you can train your mind too. Mental performance isn't something you're born with. It's a skill, and it can be practiced.
As Rhodie put it, "The mind doesn't believe what is true — it believes what is repeated." That means if an athlete keeps telling themselves "I'm going to mess up," their brain starts treating that like a fact. The story we repeat becomes the story we live.
The goal isn't to get rid of all negative thoughts — that's not realistic. The goal is to ask a better question: Is this thought useful to me right now?
Process Goals: What They Actually Look Like
You've probably heard the phrase "focus on the process, not the outcome." But what does that actually mean in real life?
Carrie broke it down this way: if a basketball player wants to score 30 points in a game, that's an outcome. You can't fully control it. But you can control your pre-game routine, your sleep, your nutrition, your footwork. Those are process goals — small, actionable steps that are 100% in your hands.
Rhodie suggests a simple exercise: take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left, write everything you can control. On the right, everything you can't.
Most athletes discover they've been spending a lot of energy on the right side of that paper. Just seeing that in black and white can be a game-changer.
When College Athletes Burn Out
Here's something that might surprise you: a lot of college athletes arrive on campus already running on empty.
They've spent years grinding to get recruited. They've sacrificed weekends, sleep, and sometimes even friendships. They cross the finish line of getting into a college program — and then find out the race just got harder, the stakes just got higher, and nobody's asking if they're still having fun.
(Spoiler: fun is actually part of the dictionary definition of sports. We checked.)
Rhodie's approach with burned-out athletes is to start with a simple question: What do you love about your sport?
Not what you're good at. Not what your coaches expect. What YOU love. The answers — the team friendships, the physical challenge, the sense of pride — are usually still in there. They just got buried under the pressure.
From there, the work becomes: How do we bring those things back to the surface?
The "Side Game" Tool
One of the most interesting tools Carrie shared is called the Side Game, developed by Mitch Green in Philadelphia.
Here's how it works: a coach or therapist has the athlete write down everything that comes to mind when they think about their sport. The good stuff, the complicated stuff, all of it. "I want a scholarship." "I'm doing it for my parents." "I love my teammates." "I hate the pressure." Everything goes on the board.
Then, they go through the list and put a plus or minus next to each item — not to judge it as good or bad, but to explore it. If "I want to make my mom proud" gets a plus, that's worth a conversation: is playing for your mom energizing you, or is it quietly weighing you down?
The goal isn't to talk athletes out of anything. It's to give them clarity. Sometimes the board reminds them how much they love the sport. Sometimes it helps them realize it might be time to pivot. Either way, they leave with a better understanding of themselves.
What This Means for the Adults in the Room
If you're a parent, coach, counselor, or anyone who works with college athletes, here are a few takeaways:
Ask what they love, not just what they need to improve. The "why" matters.
Help them separate what they control from what they don't. That two-column exercise is something anyone can try.
Watch for burnout that looks like attitude problems. A kid who seems disengaged might just be exhausted and disconnected from their own joy.
Remember that the mental game is trainable. No athlete is a lost cause. The mind, like the body, can get stronger.
To hear the full conversation with Carrie and Rhodie — including more on team culture, individual vs. team sports, and the incredible work happening at the Saugatuck Mind and Sports Lab — check out the latest episode of the College Is Fine Podcast. 🎧
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