Is Your Brain on Shuffle? ADHD, College, and Finding Your Right-Fit Path
with guest Rae Jacobson, host of Hyperfocus at Understood.org
If you’re a student with ADHD (or you love one), you’ve probably heard some version of:
“You’re so smart—why can’t you just do better?”
Our guest, writer and ADHD expert Rae Jacobson, has heard that line more times than she can count. In this episode of College Is Fine, Everything’s Fine, Rae joins us to talk honestly about ADHD, learning differences, and what it really takes to thrive in college when your brain does not follow the “default settings.”
This blog post pulls together some of the biggest themes from our conversation: Rae’s winding path through college, how to know if you’re actually ready for college, why executive functioning skills matter more than you think, and how to build the support system you deserve.
Rae’s story: “I was smart, but I was failing”
Rae didn’t start out working in ADHD and learning differences because it sounded interesting. She landed here because it was her life.
She has ADHD, inattentive type, and dyscalculia (a learning disability that affects math). Growing up, she kept hearing conflicting messages:
“You’re really bright.”
“Why can’t you keep up?”
There was a lot of struggle, self-blame, and confusion. She didn’t have a name for what was going on—no ADHD diagnosis, no roadmap.
She finally got diagnosed with ADHD at 21, which, as she points out, is “young for a lot of women, but still considerably older than would have been helpful.”
She went off to college like many students do—excited, relieved to have “made it,” and completely unprepared. She failed out after a year.
“By the time I got to college, I was pretty demoralized… I just wanted to not be the one who was left behind.”
Back at home, working and feeling miserable, she hit a turning point thanks to her mom (who also has ADHD).
The college that changed everything
Rae’s mom had attended a tiny, now-closed college in Vermont. After it shut down, it eventually became Landmark College, a school specifically designed for students with learning disabilities and ADHD.
At first, Rae wanted nothing to do with the idea.
She didn’t identify with the “learning disabilities” label. She wasn’t sure what that said about her, or whether she belonged in that category.
But when she finally visited Landmark, something clicked:
“It was life-changing immediately. I suddenly saw people like myself who seemed smart and interesting and had learning disabilities—and I’d never seen that before.”
While she was there, they went through her prior testing with her and essentially said:
“Did no one ever talk to you about ADHD?”
She learned that her old diagnosis—Learning Disorder, NOS (Not Otherwise Specified)—was basically “code for girl with ADHD in the 1990s.” With a clear ADHD diagnosis and a community of people who learned like she did, things shifted dramatically.
That experience launched her into a 20-year career writing, speaking, and advocating so that other people don’t have to “get lucky” to get help.
“People shouldn’t have to get lucky to get help.”
Before you choose a college: Ask a different question
We spend a lot of time asking, “What college can I get into?” But Rae suggests a different starting point:
“Am I actually ready for college?”
In her work with students transitioning to college, she often asks:
If you go to the college you can get into—what will be different from high school?
Not just the environment, but you.
What will change in how you work, how you study, and how you manage your time?
If your answer is essentially, “Well, college will just be different… I’ll be in a new place,” that’s a yellow flag.
A few key mindset shifts Rae recommends:
Don’t assume college is a cure-all.
College is still school—just with less built-in support. It’s not automatically more flexible, more kind, or more creative.Notice if you’re just trying not to get “left behind.”
If your main motivation is, “Everyone else is going, so I have to,” it might be worth pausing to consider alternatives: a gap year, a different type of school, or time to build skills first.Be honest about how you actually learn.
If you struggled in high school, it’s not “ungrateful” or “dramatic” to ask: What would need to be different for me to succeed in college?
What actually helped Rae succeed
At Landmark, Rae experienced two things she wishes every student had access to:
1. Executive functioning as a class
Landmark didn’t assume students would magically know how to keep a planner, organize their backpack, or break down assignments.
“One of the things that was genuinely helpful… was teaching basic organizational skills as a class.”
Time management, planning, organizing materials—these are skills, not personality traits. And they can be taught.
If your college doesn’t offer this, Rae suggests:
Working with an executive functioning coach, therapist, or school-based support person before you go.
Using the summer to learn how to:
Use a calendar or task manager
Break big assignments into smaller steps
Plan your week instead of just reacting
Because in college, no one is going to say, “Hey, you didn’t come to class today—is everything okay?” You become the person responsible for noticing.
2. Being around people who “get” you
The second big shift wasn’t a class or program—it was belonging.
“You just got to sort of undo some of the sense of being unpleasantly unique that comes with being a person who learns differently.”
For many students with ADHD or learning differences, school feels like constantly being “one step behind” or “a little to the left” of everyone else. You’re always masking, always trying to keep up, often hiding how hard it really is.
Finding people who understand your brain—whether that’s at a specialized college, in a support group, student org, or therapy group—can be a huge relief. You don’t have to explain why things are hard before you can ask for help.
You’re allowed to need support (and everyone does)
Rae and I spent time talking about accountability—that idea of having someone alongside you when you’re doing hard tasks.
For students with ADHD, this often shows up as body doubling: studying or working in the same space as someone else so you actually get things done.
Rae’s advice for students who feel ashamed about needing that?
Find an accountability buddy.
It doesn’t have to be a therapist, mentor, or official support person. It can be a friend who says:“Let’s go to the library and do this together.”
“Text me when you’ve started that paper.”
Remember this isn’t weird—it’s human.
A lot of people without ADHD also need accountability. The difference is, they may not label it as “pathology”—they just call it studying together or working late with a colleague.
As we talked about, group therapy research shows that one of the most healing experiences is realizing:
“You are not alone. You are not unusual.”
And when you ask for help or invite someone into your process, you’re not just “taking”—you’re often giving them permission to be honest about their own struggles too.
Disability services vs. mental health support: Not the same thing
Rae is honest: disability services are hit-or-miss.
Even at very strong schools, students may find:
Long forms and confusing processes
Inconsistent follow-through
Support that looks good on paper but doesn’t translate into daily life
That doesn’t mean disability services are useless—they can be important for official accommodations (like extra time, reduced-distraction testing, or note-taking support). But Rae encourages students and families to keep them in perspective:
Disability services are one tool, not the whole toolbox.
Natural supports—friends, professors, advisors—often make the biggest day-to-day difference.
On the other hand, Rae puts campus mental health services higher on the priority list.
ADHD rarely shows up alone. There are high rates of:
Anxiety and depression
Eating disorders
Substance use (especially binge drinking)
Bipolar disorder
Suicidality
So even if you’re not in crisis, Rae suggests:
Know where the counseling center is.
Understand what they actually offer: crisis only? short-term therapy? groups?
Make it easier on “future you” by finding this out before you desperately need it.
Building real relationships with professors
One of my (Sarah’s) own soapboxes is using professor relationships well.
Many students graduate wanting to apply for grad school and realize they don’t have a single professor who really knows them. Others assume they’re “bothering” professors by going to office hours.
Rae pushes back on that idea:
Most professors want to talk with students.
Office hours exist for a reason, and it’s not just to clarify test questions.
Professors can become lifelong mentors, references, and sometimes even friends.
In college, the dynamic is less “top-down” than in high school. You’re more of a collaborator in your own education. That means:
You can go to a professor and say, “I’m struggling. Here’s what’s hard.”
You can ask for an extension, explain your learning profile, or just be honest about what you’re finding confusing.
Will every professor respond well? No. But many will, and you only need a few strong connections to make a big difference.
Hyperfocus: The podcast and the passion
Rae now gets to channel her ADHD hyperfocus into her work—specifically, into Hyperfocus, her podcast with Understood.
Each episode takes a journalistic dive into a specific facet of ADHD and learning—especially the topics that don’t always make it into the mainstream conversation, like:
ADHD in women and girls
Postpartum depression and ADHD
ADHD and the justice system
How ADHD intersects with body changes, identity, and mental health
She describes it as a chance to spotlight the granular, “quiet” topics that matter deeply but often get overshadowed.
“If you put good information into the world, that’s a way of doing a service.”
How Rae’s understanding of ADHD has evolved
When Rae started this work, almost no one was talking about:
ADHD in women
ADHD beyond the “little boy who can’t sit still” stereotype
The deeper emotional side—shame, self-talk, masking
Now, more people are talking about ADHD, but not all the information is accurate or helpful. Her work has shifted toward:
Correcting misinformation
Honoring the real complexity of ADHD
Helping people understand that struggling doesn’t mean they’re broken
On a personal level, the biggest change for her has been self-compassion.
“For me, what has been most life-changing has been coming to terms with it for myself… not going straight to, ‘What is wrong with me?’ when I do something that is just ADHD.”
Having a daughter with ADHD has sharpened that perspective. She can see the ways she instinctively wants to be kinder to her child than she has been to herself—and she’s working to close that gap.
Key takeaways for students and families
If you’re a high school or college student with ADHD—or a parent trying to support one—here are a few core ideas from our conversation with Rae:
Readiness matters more than the name of the school.
Ask, “Am I ready for college, and what would need to be different for me to succeed?”Executive functioning skills are not optional.
Learning how to plan, organize, and manage your time may be more important than any single class you take.You’re allowed to need people.
Body doubling, accountability buddies, study groups, professors, advisors—this is how humans work, not a sign of weakness.Disability services are one resource, not the only one.
Use them if they help, but also invest in relationships and mental health support.Find your people.
Whether it’s a specialized school, a group, a club, or just a couple of friends who “get it,” feeling less alone changes everything.It’s not just you.
ADHD is real, complex, and deeply impactful—and you’re not lazy, broken, or failing if you’re struggling.
If you want to hear more from Rae, check out her podcast Hyperfocus and her work at Understood.org—we’ll link everything in the show notes.
And if this episode stirred something up for you (or your student), it might be a good time to ask:
👉 What’s one small support I could add to my life this week that Future Me will really appreciate?
